Monday, January 25, 2010

Take ON me

I don't claim to be the smartest person in the world. Nor do I wax philosophical about how much better I am than you (well, at least not to your face). But boy did I get a reality check this weekend. Inspired by "back in the day" photos people were posting on Facebook, I decided to give the new scanner a whirl and get some similarly aged photos up. With TH out for a guys' night, TB fast asleep and the house to myself, I browsed through old photos, chose which ones to scan, and plopped down at the computer to get those suckers up. Ahhhhh, MM, 'tis you who is the sucker. Scanning is an easy process, no? I opened the bed, put my photo face down, closed the bed and pressed the green button. Green means go, right? Press green button. Nothing. Press green button repeatedly, cursing scanner. FINE. Go to desktop and click on scanner icon. THUMP! "You're doing something completely forbidden" sound of death thump resounds. Some crap about not being able to scan comes up. let's...just...use the troubleshooter? First step: make sure the scanner is plugged in. Well that seems easy enough. Locate cord, see cord is perfectly plugged into surge protector, pat myself on the back for reading instructions. Press green button. Press press press press press press press GREEN BUTTON. Scratch head, confused, and think perhaps that ONE outlet on the surge protector is faulty. Unplug, plug scanner back into a wall outlet. Press green button. You see where this is going, people. I've just wasted a good 10 minutes of my life trying to figure out how to operate a scanner I KNOW works, because TH installed and tested it just weeks before. So, adding to my brilliance, I finally give up and refer to the installation manual. Steps 1-4 have been established. Step 5: Turn scanner on., what? The beautiful graphic in the manual shows an arrow pointing to the on/off button on the SIDE of the scanner. OMG. In the words of Bif Tannen, "Well lookie what we have here!" An EFFING ON BUTTON THAT I FAILED TO PUSH BEFORE TRYING TO SCAN A PHOTO. Sheepishly press on button. THEN push green button. My photo is scanned in all of five seconds. Happily scan numerous photos, post to Facebook, go to bed exhausted at what an idiot I've become. (Side note: I own an Epson Perfection V500 Photo Scanner, and it is a wonderful piece of equipment. Quick, easy [unless you're an idiot like myself] and photos came out great. I have yet to try the slides and negatives scanning, but looking forward to doing that once I recover from my on button debacle.)
In other news, I had my first, defensive "Mama Bear" moment yesterday at church when the man in the pew next to me (holding his 8 week-old son) asked how old TB was and I said about 5 months. To which he replied, "Wow, she's SMALL!" And I'm all (in my head), "Wow, you can shut up now!" Really wanting to comment on how his baby looked like Benjamin Button. But I just smiled my good, Christian smile, and changed the topic. That is likely the first and last time this week I play the role of "nice Christian."

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